“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2
Recently, I found myself being greatly tested in my patience. As a minister among students, patience and gentleness can often become difficult things to practise. There are moments when frustration comes easily, and responding with love becomes harder than I would like to admit.
Maybe it is because ministry often comes with expectations. When we invest our time in people, teach them, encourage them, pray for them, and make ourselves available to them, we naturally hope to see growth. We want them to understand. We want them to respond. We want them to take their faith seriously.
But people do not always grow as quickly as we hope. Sometimes they repeat the same mistakes. Sometimes they seem uninterested. Sometimes they do not listen. Sometimes the effort we put in seems greater than the response we receive. And slowly, without even realizing it, patience begins to run out.
It is easy to speak about patience when no one is testing it. It is easy to be gentle when nothing is frustrating us. But patience and gentleness become real virtues only when we have a reason to be impatient and harsh.
That is where Paul's words become personal: “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
Paul begins with humility. That is important because impatience often comes from thinking too highly of ourselves. Why don't they understand? Why do they keep doing this? How many times do I have to tell them?
But humility reminds us of another question: How patient has God been with me?
How many times have I repeated the same mistakes? How often have I ignored what I already knew? How often has God spoken, corrected, waited, and patiently led me again?
The truth is that I often ask God for the patience that I struggle to give others. I want God to understand my weaknesses, my slow growth, and my repeated failures. Yet when others are slow to grow, I can become frustrated with them. I want grace for my journey, but sometimes I expect others to reach maturity according to my timetable.
Patience is not simply waiting for people to change. Patience is trusting God while He works in people at a pace different from the one we would choose.
This does not mean that we ignore sin or stop correcting one another. Love requires correction. But even correction can be done without harshness. Gentleness does not mean compromise, and patience does not mean indifference. Rather, it means remembering that the people we are trying to help are also people whom God is patiently working on.
The next time my patience is tested, I need to remember that frustration is not always a sign that someone else needs to change. Sometimes, it reveals something in me that God is still working on.
Maybe the person testing my patience is also becoming an instrument through which God is teaching me patience. After all, I cannot ask God to make me patient while expecting Him never to place me in situations where patience is needed.
Prayer
Lord, teach me to be humble enough to remember how patient You have been with me. When my patience is tested, keep me gentle. Help me to love people not only when they are easy to love, but also when loving them requires patience. Amen.